It's 2011

I have made several posts in the last couple of years referring to standing at a fork in the road. My life isn't just a single path with points of decision but multiple paths for the different aspects of my life. It is that way for me because I don't look at life as one dimensional but multidimensional.

I have alluded to it before but my 6 days in Tibet has been very influential on my thoughts and understandings. I knew when I came home that I was standing on a powerful point in the timeline of my life. It is kind of a weird thought for most. But there I was. I was now to take the "right" path and not the one I want because the one I wanted had not come to fruition. I had been on the path of what I wanted for 25 years. But on the day I came home, I chose to follow what I wanted instead. A few months later an event occurred that sent me down the "right" path. It is one that makes everyone else happy but, unfortunately, I will not be. Since that time I have made treks to go after what I want...back to the other path. I keep falling back to the "right" path because I have found ways to self-sabotage. However, today I stand at this fork in the road that is indicating there will be no more side paths to what I want and that I need to accept the predefined. This isn't occurring just because it is the first day of the new year. Calendars are just how we humans feel we need to track time. For me, it is a bit different than that.

So here I am...looking at the predefined because I failed and the shrouded mist of what I want because I know. Do I try to stand here as long as possible because I want what I know? I really want to head down that path of shrouded mist but it seems I won't.

Sigh...sometimes filmstrips need to be burned.